Smokey Spice

My food nerd friend, Heather, did this first. I think my spice is right on.

You Are Cumin

You are warm, unique, and pretty dominant. It's also pretty likely that you smoke or like fire. You are energetic and intense. You definitely stimulate people.

What Spice Are You?

At camp this weekend, we tried to drive the Odyssey up the hill to the rec center. But the icy hill and hairpin curves foiled us, and we had to back down the hill. Our camp friends fired up two John Deere Gators--one of which I got to drive. Liam LOVED the Gators, but little did he know that his mommy loved driving them even more. There's another "first" on my list--driving a John Deere. And ENJOYING it. Yikes! Never saw that one comin'.

C is for cookie

So, I've been singing "C is for cookie" --but changing the letter to suit my kids' names and sing about them--for about 5 years now.

Today after lunch we cleaned up our places and sat down to eat our cookies for dessert. We were talking 'Cookie Monster' (me like cookie, um, um, um) when Liam asked me to sing "L is for Liam", then "E is for Elli", I had to ad-lib "A is for Addi" because I've not sung that to her yet. After I finished, Liam started singing "J is for mommy". (You think I was going to stop and correct him? No way--I totally knew what he meant and there was no stinkin' way I was going to stop his song because I couldn't wait to hear what he came up with!)

"J is for mommy, she is a really good mommy" (yes, I was sobbing by this point)
"J is for mommy, she likes purple"
"J is for mommy, she likes candies that are chocolate"
"Oh J is for mommy, mommy, mommy.

I even got a second verse, but I can't remember any of it. It was just totally unexpected and sweet. Especially after we had a bit of a 'rough' morning.

Even more shocking--I can't believe how well he knows me--even the second verse was spot-on things about just me. Not generic like "she is a girl" or "she has yellow hair". Shocking because children are totally ego-centric until between ages 4-6. Liam's not yet 5.

That, and a bunch of other things I can't talk about here, really made my day today. Speaking of C is for cookie...I'm gonna go get me 'nother cookie before the kids wake up from their naps. See ya!

I miss bonfires!

It's winter, but summer's comin'!

My big little stack of 'dirty' books

I'm so thankful our local library has self-checkout. If I had taken this mammoth stack of sex books to a librarian to check out for, I think they would have been mortified. And rightly so.

I can just imagine one of them leaping over to the computer system to 'flag' my account as a possible sex fiend after checking out the titles I did. Then using Purell to cleanse their hands and eyes from what they had just been subjected to looking at. And I picked the 'tame' titles! There were a few steamy ones I had to make myself put back on the shelves. Some were inappropriate and some were perplexing to this aspiring sex kitten. Meow?

For each LAB meeting, I endeavor to provide as many resources as possible on the topic at hand. In preparation for Monday night's LAB meeting (on returning to intimacy after baby--or the sex pep-talk) I wanted to have a wide variety of marriage, intimacy, communication, and sex books available for anyone brave enough to come to the meeting.

Here is what I checked out:

• The Sex-Starved Marriage: A Couple's Guide to Boosting Their Marriage Libido by Michele Weiner Davis


• The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger


• Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality by Rob Bell


• Sometimes I Wake Up Grumpy... and Sometimes I Let Him Sleep by Karen Scalf Linamen


• Sex 101: Getting Your Sex Life Off to a Great Start by Clifford & Joyce Penner


• Five Essentials for Lifelong Intimacy by Dr. James Dobson


• Now What?: The Chapman Guide to Marriage After Children by Gary Chapman


• Living Romantically Every Day by Barbara Taylor Bradford


• the Seventeen guide to SEX and YOUR BODY by Sabrina Solin


• Sex on the Brain: The Biological Differences Between Men and Women by Deborah Blum


• The Marriage you've Always Wanted by Dr. Gary Chapman


• The Four Seasons of Marriage by Gary Chapman


• Is That All He Thinks About?: How to Enjoy Great Sex with Your Husband by Marla Taviano (my friend with whom I went to college)
  


• Every Man's Battle: Every Man's Guide to...Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey

• Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?: More Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Whiskey Sour by Mark Leyner and Dr. Billy Goldberg (this book is hilarious, and is apparently a sequel to Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini--I've gotta get this book too!)

I've also read and reviewed Sex Begins in the Kitchen: Because Love is an All-Day Affair and Is there Really Sex After Kids? on the blog before.

So, I'd love to sit and chat, but I have some reading to do. Then a husband...to...cough...cough...giggle...do.

you know you're an old fart when...

...Virginia Woolf's insane proliferations are more appealing to you than the Grammy's.

Cooking up a storm

Cold weather outside is my perfect excuse to fire up the oven inside.

Saturday night I whipped up some spinach artichoke dip for Dan and I to enjoy while watching "Hero". Oh...it was amazing. The dip, that is. I'd share the recipe but I don't cook from recipes, so...sorry! I liked the movie a lot too. And the Cap'n Morgan...

Sunday I put an eye of round roast in the oven to slow-cook all day, made hand-mashed champ and organic green bean casserole. This meal tasted so much like childhood Sundays to me that I ate two platefuls and forced myself not to indulge in a third.

This afternoon I wandered into the realm of brownies from scratch. I just cannot help myself from adding health to everything I cook, however. And although I could have easily made a dense, gooey, moist, buttery decadence of a batch of brownies, I "snuck" in pumpkin puree and raisins, while cutting down the sugar and butter called for in the recipe. They're smashing with a glass okf milk, cup of coffee, slathered in natural peanut butter, Fluff, some leftover chocolate frosting, or Cool Whip.

Ding!

I just had the most serious epiphany.

THE INTERNET IS THE NEW ANSWERING MACHINE

Seriously. We shut our laptops to go watch TV (or in some cases go play video games) then run back afterwards to check and see what we 'missed' while we were 'gone'. We sleep at night just to wake up in the morning and check in to see what went on overnight.

This is just crazy to me.

(Or maybe I should re-arrange that last sentence to say 'me is just this to[o] crazy'?)

Friday night

It's Friday night. 7:45pm. We have all 3 kids in bed. Not asleep yet, but in bed. Here's our convo: (I never use the word convo to mean conversation, but my friend H does, and it cracks me up)

J: Is the library still open?
D: No, it closes at 5 on Fridays
J: Poor planning, no movie to watch
D: Lah-dee-da...dum--dee-dum...
J: You have gift cards--you should go shopping
D: I wanted to go shopping earlier, but I knew the kids were beyond it
J: You are allowed to have alone time
D: I have alone time all day at work--you need alone time
J: Hey, if you will enjoy yourself and have fun, go do it
D: I'll probably come back without anything. I don't understand why I'm so picky lately--I never want to buy anything
J: It's because we realize the value of our money--we don't spend it on just any old crap because we feel like spending. It's all Dave Ramsey's fault
D: laugh--yeah. It's true though
J: GO. Have fun. I'll read a book and chill out or something

fade

A virtual thank you

In response to this

Dear FRIEND,

Whoever you are, you have made me curiouser than George.

First of all, when I received a card from A FRIEND, I immediately knew it was something good, but something in me was wary. Why don't you want me to know who you are?

Secondly, instead of being thankful for the fun gift, my type A brain immediately had to work at figuring out who you are. I mean, I was examining the envelope for "clues", postal markings, comparing the envelope to the card, looking for hairs stuck in the hot glue, fingerprints on the gift cards, sniffing the insert for any giveaway scents (??? I'm not even sure I would know what that would be either--coffee, Pert Plus, un-showered morning breath--who knows?). It was almost sick how totally zealous and determined I was to figure out who you are! Then I started wondering who would have one $20 Meijer gift card and two $10 Toys/Babies R Us gift cards--or who would go to the two separate stores to purchase them as such. Seriously--my brain went into hyperactive over-drive trying to figure this one out.

THEN--trying to figure out what to buy. OHHHH! The struggle. I seriously--literally--spent 3 hours on-line looking at the Toys R Us website trying to figure out what to buy. Then I spent an hour at the Toys R Us store all by myself, and still came home with nothing. I over-analyzed the entire purchase so much I couldn't even make a decision much less a purchase!

Meijer--that was only slightly tough. I had to keep myself out of the kitchen section--although a splurge for me, I was afraid anything purchased there might qualify as "wisely" and I was REALLY afraid of the punishment you threatened if I chose to spend the gift card that way. I mean, I'm sure you were hiding around the corner, in disguise holding up a newspaper with two eye slits cut in it or sitting up in the security booth watching me on camera to see what I picked out. Right?

I ended up buying myself a pair of New Balance sneakers I found in the clearance section for only $15--then I added a $6 organic cotton long-sleeved T-shirt to give me almost an entire "new" outfit--totally frivolous, and definitely for me alone.

On my third trip to Toys R Us, I landed on an item for our family. I chose the game "Perfection" as it was something I remember enjoying as a kid. So far, my kids have only fought over it, so it's tucked away for another year or two until they can play and enjoy it rather than fight over it. It's a sentimental and totally frivolous purchase as I could have easily nickel and dimed the gift cards on clearance crappo, but instead decided to go old school and get something I remembered from my childhood that maybe my kids will one day remember too. And after the countless hours I spent searching for just the right item, I thought it would be piquant to choose "Perfection".

Now, dear FRIEND, I have given up on trying to figure out who you are. Although I have my short-list of guesses. I'm just waiting for you to burst out "gotcha, it was ME" one of these times we're together.

But it would be much more scintillating if you never reveal yourself and I can continue to treat everyone as if you were my FRIEND.

Sincerely,

Jenna Scott

I got RAK'd (RAK = Random Act of Kindness)

A few days before Christmas, I got a letter in the mail.

Inside the envelope I found a Christmas card with 3 gift cards hot glued to it and a color-printed insert that explained this surprise gift. It said:

Merry Christmas

Jenna, please accept these gift cards under the following conditions::

The Meijer Gift Card -

1. This must be used on you alone or on you and Dan.


2. It MUST be spent frivolously (Eg. Bottle of wine and fancy dessert-that is if you decide to share with Dan.)


3. If I find out that you spend this "wisely" you will be punished.

The Toys/Babies R Us Gift Cards -

1. These must be used on the kids or a family item.


2. These MUST not be spent on something practical (Eg. No diapers)


3. If I find out that you spent these "wisely" you will be punished.

LOVE, A FRIEND



OK. Whoever did this, first of all, thank you for this completely unexpected and fun $40 of shopping. You totally floored me. You got me. You made me cry, you booger!

Second of all, I LOVE A CHALLENGE! And, I haven't been reading mystery books since I was 8 for nothin'!

********* THE CLUES *********

• The letter was addressed to me in all all caps, blue ink, medium point pen--Bic I think. The writing appeared to be male--possibly a wife asked her husband to address it so her handwriting wouldn't give her away? Or a guy sent it, awkward, but still thoughtful.


• The return address area only revealed that it was from "A FRIEND".


• The USPS printing only revealed that it was from a Grand Rapids zip code beginning with the numbers 493. (That means it was mailed in Ada?)


• Hmmm...only someone with extensive glue-gun knowledge was able to attach the gift cards.


• Not to mention computer saavy to get the instructions to fit exactly to the card's interior. And the red and green letter-alternating-patterning was perfectly done--either someone is very good or has waaaaay too much time on their hands. And I don't know anyone with too much time on their hands, so it has to be the former.


• Knows my spouse's name is Dan.


• Knows we aren't teetotalers (hence the bottle of wine comment), yet doesn't know that I don't care for wine unless it's in a highly fruited and very juiced sangria.


• Someone knows me very well in that they knew my first, second, and third thoughts upon seeing the gift cards would be, "sweet! We can get 1/2 tank of gas with the Meijer card and a case of diapers with Babies R Us cards!" Good thing you put the rules in place.


• I'm wondering how you are going to know how I spend these gift cards and whether or not I'll need to be punished. And you must feel pretty comfortable with me to threaten punishment!

I have a few guesses as to who is "A FRIEND" rolling around in my head. (ooh, misplaced modifier! I don't have a friend rolling around in my head, but I do have some guesses rolling around in my head)

I think the point, though, is not to find out who "did this to me", but rather to gracefully accept an unexpected gift. And to step outside my normal pragmatic and thrifty self to enjoy a little self-indulgence at someone else's expense.

Thank you, FRIEND. For knowing me enough to set the "conditions", for caring enough to take the time to make receiving this card so much fun for me, for giving me $40 + the cost of a stamp which you could have very well spent on yourself or your own family, for sharing humbly via anonymity.

it's so not fair

when Dan just gets to jet-set off to Orlando for a weekend to work and I have to stay home with the 3 kids.

Yes I'm being a baby. Yes I'm bitching. Yes I'm jealous. Yes I'm dreading it already. Yes I have issues. Yes, I'll get over it. But not for a while.

dammit it's so not fair.

Sneak Peek

This post won't go up on LAB until Saturday. But I thought it was a fairly decent piece of writing with some amazing photography by Dan. The "Journal Entry" header was created by Nate. I love collaboration!

Virtual friendships

Dan and I have been talking about a lot of things lately. But one topic regularly pops up that really intrigues me. This phenomenon of virtual friendships. Wheedling your way into relationships based on commonality by what you own, what you do, what you enjoy, etc. Instantly, you are linked for life to everyone else who knows and also owns or likes the same kind of car you drive, which type of computer you own, which gaming system you use, what cities you travel to, music you listen to, have the same number of kids, attend(ed) the same school or church, work at the same place, or were at an event you attend probably just to take pictures so you can post them online. Oh, the infinite vastness of the blogospheres. At the drop of a few bucks, purchase of a certain item, or a registration of any type--BAM, instant community!

Do we not remember how to start, cultivate and grow friendships IRL any more? Has our human-ness atrophied this much?

Often this type of community seems so cheap and inauthentic to me. My personal persuasion is that I only become online friends with people I already know IRL. I'm not really in the market for shiny new, surfacey, dollar-store friendships based on me driving a Honda Odyssey van, currently reading Diane Mott Davidson, listening to Christmas music on iTunes, or because I enjoy cooking, travel, and discovering new places.

And I'm even more __________(verb) with people who keep seeking out these disposable friendships and forsaking the real life people right in front of them.

What? You don't have U2 listed as your favorite band anymore? Ba-bye. You decided Apple is not the almighty? Blasphemer--I can no longer IM with you. You didn't like the comment I wrote on your blog and I'll never hear from you again? Um...OK? You misread what I was trying to tell you in an e-mail and you deleted me off your Facebook friendlist?

Or--on the flip side. I don't have any friends, I think I'll go buy some. Hm--if I decide to go to space camp to become an astronaut I'll instantly have tons and tons of friends who are also going to be flying to the moon. Yeah, I like that idea. I'll do that. I don't have as many friends on Facebook as __________(insert name), I'd better fill out more personal information so more people will find me and I can beef up to become a super-friend. People haven't been commenting on my blog, I'd better read and comment on theirs to drum up some traffic. Or maybe I'll re-design, or move to a new "location" and start over.

I think I'm just really disgusted with people these days who are living virtual lives instead of real ones. I mean, heaven forbid the power go out or the internet go down for a few hours or days--some people just about lose their lunch when they're so "unconnected" to the "outside world".

I'll be the first one to raise my hand and admit I've gone through times of addiction to virtual community. It's so empty. I've never been one to look at or be addicted to porn, but I have a feeling it's on the same plane and a lot more justifiable and a lot less taboo than porn. Shame on me. Shame on all of us who fall prey to the cheap electronic relationships we seek and pursue online deceiving ourselves that they will be just as fulfilling IRL as well.

When we step away from our computer screens, we're awfully exposed, aren't we? Are you practicing your human-ness so that if the network ever implodes you'll still be able to converse with people, and want to? Can you still hand-write letters? Communicate with and comprehend people's non-verbals? Weather the rough times with people rather than just signing off and changing your screen name, getting a new e-mail address or blog, and clicking on "Register me now" for a new life?

Sugar-FREE advent calendar giveaway

Growing up, our family counted down to Christmas using a special advent…piece…my mom had cross-stitched just for us. There were 24 plastic rings sewn onto this piece to hold tiny candy canes. Each day, one of the four kids would rotate getting to take and eat a candy cane off the calendar.

As we got older (and wiser?) we demanded better candy than tiny, boring old candy canes. I’ll never forget my mom Scotch-taping holiday colored Hershey’s kisses to each ring by the little Hershey’s kiss flag in each candy. Or the fact that our dog, Cinders, ate all the candies–wrappers and all–while we were at church one Sunday.

Last year my brother, Greg, brought home a Starbucks advent calendar complete with tiny numbered red drawers and stocked with milk and dark chocolates. We all enjoyed eating our way to Christmas, but it was so short-lived and meaningless to me. I had the creative urge to tap the potential this $14.95 little calendar was tempting me with. (They’re $15.95 this year–yikes!)

So, this year, when I pulled out the advent box, my kids started the chorus of, “ooooh, caaaandy!”

But I quickly squelched that dream. I told them that instead of candy this year, we were going to pull out little pieces of paper that would tell the Christmas story day-by-day throughout the month of December. They weren’t as excited about that idea, but they were intrigued. I’ll take intrigued and run with it.

I have visions of a hand-made storybook with kiddie-drawn pictures illustrating each day’s snippet of the new-to-them odyssey. Of my kids really getting Christmas. Of them being able to recite the story from Luke 2 by memory just a few short years from now. Of them looking forward to reading the familiar story every year and if filling them to the brim with excitement and giving them goosebumps every time they read it. Of Jesus is the Reason for the Season being more than a clever rhyme.

I’m offering a FREE advent calendar complete with kid’s version of the Christmas story to one lucky LAB reader. If you are interested in winning this prize, you’ve got to hurry as Dec 1 is just around the corner! Leave me an insightful comment and I’ll pick the one that strikes a chord with me most as the winner on Friday December 30. I’ll either deliver or mail the calendar to the winner!

A Joey Lawrence "whoa!"

So, I was checking the LABlog stats today and was like "how come like a zillion people are reading this one article? Hmm....wonder where all these referrals are coming from?"

The nice thing about Wordpress is that it will answer those questions by letting you know who is referring readers to your posts.

I clicked and almost wet my panties. LAB is linked to a Wall Street Journal article today!

I can't take credit--it's linked to an article Diane wrote. She deserves all the credit. Nice job, Diane! Congrats on being published on LAB, and linked to the WSJ online!

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB119507669361593207.html?mod=hps_us_editors_picks

FREE MOVIE! FREE TURKEY!

I’m not usually a coupon-user or gimmick-getter, but this week I was. My neighbor gives us her Sunday paper each week after reading all the sections she’s interested in. I clip coupons, read the comics, study the grocery store ads, then recycle. I don’t use the coupons unless it’s for an item I was already planning to get and it offers me additional savings, but this week I was glad I had clipped and saved all those annoying little bits of paper.


This week at D&W and Spartan Stores, if you purchased 10 General Mills products in one purchase, you would get 2 free tickets to go so Bee Movie. That’s an OK deal–but that’s a lot of [expensive] products. Thankfully, select General Mills cereals and fruit snacks were on sale this week–10 for $20. Still a little pricey, but with additional coupons and my re-used brown bags, I ended up walking out of the store with 9 boxes of cereal, 1 box of fruit snacks, and 2 free tickets (up to $24) to see Bee Movie for $16!

********************CONTEST ALERT!*******************
Now I just have to hive off a friend to go with me to see Bee Movie. If you’re buzzed to see a honey of a film with me for FREE, leave me a comment on this post and pick a number between 1 and 100. I’ll have my antennae up to see who is closest to my number and will get to bee my Bee Movie friend! Contest ends November 20. (Please, no stinging remarks about my waspish use of puns)
*********************************************************

Meijer was also running a special–if you bought a Rival roaster oven for $30, you also got a free chef’s knife and free turkey. I got the roaster oven, but they were sold out of the chef’s knives. I did get the 17 pound turkey, though. Using a $20 Meijer gift card from an ICR taste-test, I left Meijer with a new $45 roaster oven [wish I could brag about the $10 knife too, but oh well] and $25 turkey for just $10 out of my pocket!

Combination and planning. Find a deal, a sale, plus all the coupons you can muster, return soda cans and bottles, re-use brown grocery bags, and you’ll walk away from a store with more stuff and more money!

The first flap

Ohhhhh...I've got the first chap-flap of the season.

You know, when your lips get chapped and you get that really big, hard chunk of lip skin that your front teeth are instinctively trying to grasp onto and rip off and leave a large, painful gaping hole of raw flesh exposed. That sticks up and gets caught every time you close your mouth our rub your lips together. That practically snags your tongue while you're talking.

It's taking all my willpower not to rip it off, but I know how painful it will be as soon as I do it. I keep putting on chap stick to help soften it, but I know it's there and every now and then I find my teeth creeping out to grasp the little flap.

"No, no don't do it", I scream inside my head. Think of the burning you will feel while trying to eat salt & vinegar potato chips around that gargantuan lip hole. Hot chocolate a little too hot straight onto raw, opened flesh-wound. Worse yet the dry, achey-cakey of trying to cover the hole with lipstick. Oh...resist! Resist!

Besides, we all know the little flap never tastes as satisfying and good as we think it will--even if it's Cherry flavor.

a meditation on medication

This article at Postpartum Progress and recent human interactions in my life spawned this journal entry below.

I have a friend who has recently contacted me about the possibility of having PPD. The crazy thing is, she hasn’t even had her baby yet? Isn’t that crazy? You can’t suffer from PPD if you haven’t had a baby yet, right?

WRONG! SO WRONG! HOW IGNORANT ARE YOU?

Anyone can suffer a perinatal (that means during pregnancy or after birth) mood disorder. I did during my third pregnancy. And I think my friend is too.

It’s hard to give advice on what to do. I listen to myself talking to her and bet my words are just bouncing right out of her overly-stimulated, feeling-all-clogged-up ears, or that she sees my lips moving but her haze-riddled mood-muddled eyes just can’t make out the words. She knows she’s not her, her brain is telling her that, but it’s also sedating her to the point where there’s nothing more she can really do about it.

I’ve been there too. That’s how I know. I remember. And quiver. Like when you remember having a terrible flu with violent vomiting. It makes you quiver, shiver, and wish you never have to go through it again. And that no one else will have to either.

I have urged her on several occasions to talk to her doctor immediately. She’s complacent and waiting until her next appointment.

I say “you don’t have to suffer, you don’t have to struggle”, yet she chooses to grit her teeth and claw her way through another disheartening day. We can only make choices for ourselves although if I had my way I’d drive her straight to her doctor and walk her into the office proclaiming the dire straits of her daily life and demanding some darn-good care.

But I can’t do that. You’d never let me. I might even spend a night in the slammer if I try a stunk like that. But know I’m on you like a HAWK, my friend. I’m not letting you get away with suffering when there are so many options, so many therapies, so much support and reasons not to suffer. That is one good thing about living here and now. You have options. There is help availble. You don’t have to suffer. Amen and than you Jesus!

I found grace in a lot of areas–praying friends, family, support groups, psychiatry, books, an understanding spouse, but most of all in a little blue pill called Zoloft. I hate that I have to have medication to keep me ‘balanced’ and normal, but that is the reality of my life right now. I’m not strong enough to do all the other things in my life to achieve the balance I really long for. Someday, when the choices I make are all my own, when I’m not ruled, run, and ravished by raising kids I’ll be able to be more proactive about being healthy. Drinking oceans of water, walking and exercising, preparing healthy energizing foods for every meal, eating every meal, getting copious amounts of sleep, initiating life-giving social interactions, reading soul-stuffing books, and maybe even writing one too!

But until then, I take my little (now it’s yellow because I’ve switched to generic because of the cost factor) yellow pill every morning and send up a prayer for a good day while the little yellow pill slides down my throat with a gulp of tepid water.

Killin' me softly

This is what's got me in the crapper today:
~Elli peeing (not just a little sprinkle-tinkle. Like adult-sized bladder emptying here folks) on my parent's brand new $1k pillow-topper mattress
~Addi pooping on the cushion of the window-seat at my parent's brand new home
~Rubbing in the "miracle cream" that doesn't seem to be doing jack
~listening to the breaks squeal and squeak each time I slow to a stop and agonizing over how the heck to make time to go get them fixed and then pay for them
~needing new windshield wipers
~watching Encore stagger around with an arched back, lame back end, and shake his painful ear

This is the good stuff that's not really lifting my spirits although it should be:
~Dan's day off
~iminent trip to the library
~full tank of gas
~parents in town
~LAB meeting tonight
~warmer day
~I have a van
~my family is safe and healthy
~we have food to eat and water to drink
~our internet is working right now
~Elli didn't need a shot today
~I am