early

In order to save Dan's parents some money on shipping our Christmas presents out (wink, wink), we simply packed them in a few duffel bags and brought them back to MI with us on the plane.

We actually had a few hidden agendas. After we put the kids to bed, we gently slit the tape to take a peep at their presents so we could censor them. Only one loud and obnoxious toy that will be re gifted--they're getting better and better every year!

Another hidden agenda (for me) was that I wanted to wear my new watch. Dan's dad works for Swatch, and for Christmas this year he sent us the catalog and we each got to pick out a watch. I seriously must have labored over that catalog as well as the Internet site for 7+ hours. It was awful. I was making lists, I was comparing closeup views and angles, I was having lengthy discussions with (poor) Dan about the merits of one over another, I was getting mad at him when he made a negative comment about one I might have maybe possibly been considering but not so sure I really liked it, I was just in agony that I might pick the wrong watch.

It was pathetic. But after all the labor, I made my choice and was at peace with it--I literally didn't sleep one night because I hadn't chosen my watch. All night I stayed awake comparing them in my head trying to decide. The next night after finalizing my choice, cutting it out of the catalog (so the wrong one wasn't ordered--that would've really lost me a lot of sleep) and mailing the picture, product number, and description to Dan's dad who works at Swatch, I slept so hard I didn't hear the kids wake up in the night or Dan getting up to tuck them back into bed. That, my friends, never happens--that is a deep sleep.

And I love my new watch.

Thursday night pork chop

Everyone is invited every Thursday for drop-in-eat-and-leave dinner buffet 5-7pm. This week's menu includes:

• Pork chops & rice
• Green beans
• Jean's home made chunky applesauce
• Cheerio bread
• Boston Cream Pie
• Starbucks
  
  

thirty eggs later

I was whipping up some scrambled eggs to go with the Thursday open-buffet-at-the-Scotts' night "breakfast for dinner" menu tonight, which consists of biscuits and sausage gravy, scrambled eggs, grapefruit halves, fresh fruit salad, Starbucks and OJ. I had cracked two dozen eggs and whipped them along with some milk into a frothy batter ready for scrambling.

I decided to move them to the back of the counter in case a tiny hand should reach up and grab the bowl dumping it onto the floor. In my haste, I failed to lift my hand high enough to clear the side of the bowl and tipped it over myself. With my Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon-like reflexes I was able to catch and upright the bowl saving about half of the batter. The other half was hopelessly dribbling down the counter and collecting in a jaundiced pool on the floor.

I thought to myself "oh my Lord" (as in the one who created the chicken and the egg from whence my troubles sprang) but my super-problem-solving brain kicked into gear so quickly that I whisked a bendable cutting board underneath the ledge of the counter, scraped about 1/2 cup of egg mixture onto it which I was able to transfer back into the bowl (good thing I keep my counter tops clean enough to eat off of...literally).

Next I removed the gate and whistled Encore over to enjoy a repast of pre-scrambled eggs. He did a fabulous job of cleaning up the floor as I had no idea how I was going to soak all that egg up. I cracked six more eggs into the scramble brew, added another splash of milk, re frothed, and we're good to go. Dinner is saved!

Support group confessions

I attend a Postpartum Depression Support Group. We don't go around and say "hi, I'm Jenna and I'm depressed"--we don't have to. Just by being there we pretty much say that every time we gather at the Spectrum Health Community Center. Usually we meet every other Tuesday night, but there have been so many girls (myself included) who feel that two or three weeks between sessions is too long. We petitioned our nurses to see if it would be possible to meet on the "off" Tuesdays as well, and they went through all the red tape (God bless them) to make it happen on the off-Tuesday mornings at 9:30.

Tomorrow I'm planning to talk about two steps forward, one step back for me. What made me realize I had taken a "step back" was a book I read about two weeks ago called "Blue Genes", by Paul Meier. I was feeling like I was doing so well, recovering great, had a good grip on reality, a handle on coping mechanisms, boundaries to keep me "safe" and healthy. So, I weaned myself off my meds. I went through almost an entire month of vertigo and headaches as I weaned, excited to be back to "me" again. But, my symptoms returned, and I think worse than before. Frustration that led to anger at the drop of a hat, yelling, not being able to tolerate loud noises, feeling overwhelmed, imagining really sad scenarios in my head to see if I "felt" anything emotional, not wanting to take care of the kids, but just clean and do jobs around the house that would take me away from them, just wanting to be by myself, paranoia and reading the worst into things people were saying/writing to me (or not saying/writing to me) etc.

OH, my poor family having to put up with the ugly creature that is NOT me. Needless to say, while reading this book, I realized that I was not ready to be off my meds. If you have a headache, there's nothing wrong with taking aspirin. If you're diabetic, there's no shame in taking insulin to restore balance in your body. The same goes for the medical conditionthat mental illness really is--a chemical imbalance in your brain.

I also realized that I've been preaching that "counseling isn't a bad or shameful thing only for when you're desperate or at your worst, but something good and healthy for you to do." Time to practice what I preach. I'm headed for some "talk therapy"--the first in my life--on Wednesday. Yikes. Although I know I love to talk about myself, I'm not sure how this is all gonna go down, but I'm willing to go there and get it all figured out.

It is time for me to be even more proactive about getting healthy--I deserve it, my family deserves it, my friends deserve it.

what this SAHM does all day

play

Deck update

We're almost done. I cannot wait to swab the deck.

For Food-nerd Friends

'twas fructose, and the vitamins
did zinc and dye (red #8)
all poly were the thiamins,
and the carbohydrate.

beware the Gobblegook, my son!
the flavorings, the added C!
beware the serving size, and shun
the dreaded BHT.

And as in folic thought I stood,
The Gobblegook, with eyes nitrate,
came gluten through the dextrose wood,
its extracts carbonate.

Oh, can you slay the Gobblegook,
polyunsaturated boy?
3,000 calories! Don't look!
the sugars! The fats! Oh soy.

'twas fructose, and the vitamins
did zinc and dye (red #8)
all poly were the thiamins,
and the carbohydrate.

Gobblegook, by Jon Scieszka & Lane Smith