In the vein

Last week I found myself overflowing with words. I wrote every minute I could so that I wouldn't lose my trains of thought. I got about 2 weeks worth of posts started or completed.

I thought "Somethin' Sexy 'bout the Ring" was one of my better pieces of writing. As I continue to hone my creative writing skills, I think I need to open myself up to the painful reality of feedback. I'm trained for technical/professional communication (like flight manuals, press releases, regurgitating information, etc.) so these pieces are a new experience for me, and one with which I must admit I have no further training than high school English.

I'm going to open this piece up to criticism from all sides. I'd appreciate specific comments. (Of course I'd appreciate positive comments, but I learn best from things I need to "fix" or improve)

For example: the phrase "husky, musky, dusky rollicking rhythms of country music" seemed too contrived. Maybe you could make it a little more smooth and natural by ______

thanx 2 alls of You for learning me on how's I ken rite gooder;