Circle

About a year ago, we gave our neighbor a pile of this...
so we could buy this.
Today we sold this (see above) to get back this...

and this...

Dan accused me of "flipping" both of our Jeeps. We bought the Jeeps at a combined total of $4,700 and sold them for a combined total of $10,050. The sale of these two vehicles has allowed us to nearly pay off the mini van. In just a few months, we will no longer have a car payment.

We're pretty giddy.

This one so frickin' takes the cake

It looks like a scary cow-pie crater or a massive donut...but it gets better.

Liam tries his hand at decoratingThen we do the touchups and add more chocolate jimmies ("sprinkles" to Michiganders)

Totally custom, baby!One pimped out birthday cake.
I am cakemaker-- Ka-chow!

I got a raise!

Stay-at-home mother's work worth $138,095 a year

Wed May 2, 3:00 PM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - If the typical stay-at-home mother in the United States were paid for her work as a housekeeper, cook and psychologist among other roles, she would earn $138,095 a year, according to research released on Wednesday.

This reflected a 3 percent raise from last year's $134,121, according to Salary.com Inc, Waltham, Massachusetts-based compensation experts.

The 10 jobs listed as comprising a mother's work were housekeeper, cook, day care center teacher, laundry machine operator, van driver, facilities manager, janitor, computer operator, chief executive officer and psychologist, it said.

The typical mother puts in a 92-hour work week, it said, working 40 hours at base pay and 52 hours overtime.

A mother who holds full-time job outside the home would earn an additional $85,939 for the work she does at home, Salary.com.

Last year she would have earned $85,876 for her at-home work, it said.

Salary.com compiled the online responses of 26,000 stay-at-home mothers and 14,000 mothers who also work outside the home.

(Reporting by Ellen Wulfhorst)

Hung out to dry

100 feet of nylon line- $4.99 (as opposed to $15 buying it by the foot at $0.15 per foot)
2 garage door pulleys- $6.98 (as opposed to buying "real" pulleys at $14.99 each)
Wooden clothespins--free! (It is always good to ask if anyone has extra they'd like to get rid of)
Learning to tie a Zeppelin knot-priceless! (we love the internet!)
The second load of laundry is hanging out to dry. It really is quite easy to do--unless you have 2 kids "helping"...

1-2-3

For a little under 3 weeks this year only, we have a 1 year old, a 2 year old and a 3 year old. And believe me, I've been telling anyone and everyone within earshot. It's fun to watch people's wheels spinning trying to do the math to see if that is "possible". What a laugher!

Not dinner-time conversation

Who: Liam
Where: Bathroom (toilet area)
When: 4:44am
What: In-between pukes
"Oh mommy, I'm really not happy about this".

Who: Elli
Where: Bathroom (sink area)
When: 1:17am
What: After a big puke
"Ohhhhh Mommy! Look! There's my carrots!"

I laughed both times...who laughs at their puking kids? This honest mum, I guess.

Africoture

All ladies have to wear skirts while we are on the Mully Children's Family campus in June. Then we will leave all our clothes (underwear included) at MCF.

The only skirts I own are wool or denim for fall/winter--way too hot for Africa. I shopped some thrift stores, asked friends and family for light-weight knee-length skirts to take, but came up empty.

So, I went to (shudder) Wal-Mart, got $2.98 worth of fabric off clearance, and am sewing the 3 skirts I will take, wear, then leave. That is less than $1 per skirt!

Here is the first of my labours of love to leave at MCF.

I am a self-taught rogue sewer and don't use patterns--or if I do I make my own. But I am totally enjoying creating and improvising, using math and problem-solving. I think I'll add some pockets to this one and try a different shape/tactic on skirt #2.

OK men, this is an official challenge

For all my peeps and any glurkers (guy+lurker) of this blog, this one's for you.

~According to the Humphrey Institute of Public Affairs: 'While women represent 40 percent of the world population, they perform nearly two-thirds of all working hours, receive only one-tenth of the world income and own less than 1 percent of world property.' The 'Report of the World Conference for the United Nations Decade for Women' agrees: When housework is accounted for, 'women around the world end up working twice as many hours as men.'

• A recent study shows that if housework done by married women were paid, family income would rise by 60 percent.
  
  
• Husbands of full-time homemakers help out for an hour and fifteen minutes a day while husbands of women with full-time jobs help less than half as long--thirty-six minutes.
  
  
• Ninety percent of wives and 85 percent of husbands in the US say the woman does "all or most" of the household chores.
  
  
• Married American men do only 10 percent more domestic work than they did twenty years ago.
  
  
• The work week of American women is twenty-one hours longer than that of men; economist Heidi Hartmann demonstrates that "men actually demand eight hours more service per week than they contribute.

After feeling thoroughly sickened, I was totally thankful that my own situation does not at all reflect these numbers. Dan does way more than the average American man's share of household chores--not as many as I'd like him to, but I never even complete my own gargantuan lists.

So any dudes or glurkers out there reading this--I challenge you to be atypical. Prove the numbers wrong. Please.

My digits

I went to a "real" doctor for the first time in about 5 years.

A few weeks after my appointment and blood work, I got a note in the mail.

"Cholesterol Level:
Triglycerides: III
HDL: 43
LDL: 148
Total: 213

Dear Jennifer,

Your labwork is all good except that your cholesterol is borderline high--likely due to genetics! I recommend trying to get some aerobic exercise 30 minutes 3x a week and cutting down fat in your diet. We should recheck next year and keep a close eye on it. Sincerely, Dr. HB"

Well, let's see. Except for the occasional pat of butter or chocolate bender, there really isn't a whole lot of fat in my diet.

I really think that chasing a 1, 2, & 3 year old around every single day puts me in the "aerobic activity for 30 min or more" like 7x per week.

Plus, does checking your bloodwork once/year count as "keeping a close eye" on something?

Anyway, I think I'll go gnaw on a carrot while doing sit ups and folding laundry after I'm done doing jumping jacks while changing a diaper and drinking 30 oz of water.

Pot Pourri

• For the first time in years, I love putting on pants. Any pants. Doesn't matter what pants I choose, they FIT!
  
  
• A phone call I swore to Dan didn't upset me did cause me to eat an entire 1/2 lb slice of Kilwin's fudge. This is what Heather calls "emotional eating". I did it. I knew I did it. I chose to do it rather than wade through the emotions because I didn't have the time or space to muck it out, so I ate. Man, that was good fudge.
  
  
• I think I have way too many things on my plate. That is a good thing and a bad thing. Dan and the kids suffer when I'm so busy, but I thrive and feel more "me" and alive when I have things to do. It's a tricky balance I am trying to establish and maintain.
  
  
• I didn't buy a bagel the other day because I didn't have any "blow money" left and didn't want to have to erase and rewrite the entire month's budget for a $1.79 purchase. It's working!
  
  
• There's a lot on my heart and mind these days, I feel like I'm walking around with 17 different radio stations blaring at various decibel levels inside my head all at the same time. If you say something to me and I don't hear you or look kinda lost, forgive me and write it down for me.
  
  
• I cannot wait for dinner tonight. I think these stuffed pork chops are my "signature dish"--an adaptation of my mom's recipe (because I most often cook by sight, smell, and taste rather than being bound by the confines of a recipe)--family favorites taste better because of the nostalgia they release in your brain.
  
  
• I think it's getting nice enough out to put the Jeep up for sale. Gulp. It's gotta be done.
  
  
• My brother asked me for a birthday suggestion for his "special friend". For one of the first times in my life, when asked for advice, I found myself completely flummoxed. How to put myself into the mindset of a 24 year old, single and newly-dating girl has me totally short-circuited-- I can't even make up something. Huh?
  
  
• After my shower today, I was brushing my hair and wondering--"is it toxic for me to wear a flea collar in Africa? Am I going to come home with a head full of bugs and have to cut off all my hair"? Then I thought--"how vain? Who cares about hair when there are 900 kids whose parents didn't want them--if you have to shave your head because you were hugging kids who desperately need some love, attention, and parental affection, then you know you did a good job". This trip is rocking my world and I haven't even gone on it yet--yikes.
  
  
• I have a sore throat. I hate getting sick. I always try to mentally expel sickness from my body, but at not willing to be mentally tough enough to force litres of water down my throat.
  
  
• Enough posting for now. It's a sunny beautiful day outside and I need some vitamin D.
  

"You're going to lose your flower"

I thought I had a good ten to twelve years before I'd hear myself saying this. And I never imagined I'd be saying it to my son.

Liam and Elli both "wished" they could have a flower in their rooms for naptime. So, I took a stem for each from the arrangement in the kitchen and put them in plastic cups high on a dresser in each bedroom.

Elli's flower is untouched--she's still in a crib.

However, Liam's story is quite different. I explained the rules--the flower was only for looking at--no touching, no moving, no messing with it, nothing or he would "lose his flower". With Liam's promises to only look and not touch in tow, I headed for the shower.

I was just about clean when I heard the kitchen trash can lid snap open. I knew exactly what was going on. I leaped like a gazelle that had stepped on burning coals out of the shower, grabbed the first towel my hand hit (I think it was Dan's, thankfully not Greg's...) and my glasses--as my super powers are severely crippled without them. I ran dripping and towel-clad down the hallway and into Liam's room. Before yelling at his failure to keep his word and obey, I took in a thoughtful breath and said "this is your chance to tell the truth--what happened?".

Unfortunately, a bit of a lie ensued. Liam claims he was lying on his bed looking at the flower when it simply tipped over and fell onto the floor.

Thankfully, I read a lot mystery books and realized that the dresser moved about a foot from the wall, flower stem broken in three places, and handful of red flowers clutched behind Liam's back told a very different story.

So Liam lost his flower, his "Ada blue bear" for naptime, my trust, and most sadly a chance to make a right choice. But I'm seeing progress. There's more truth than fabrication in his stories. He's getting there and I'm championing every little bit of progress no matter how disappointed I am of the bad choices, it's the hints of good ones that I'm straining to see and praise to the heavens no matter how many times he lets me down.

LOST makes me think deeply

Last night, on LOST (something along the lines of)

"You don't choose who you love, Kate."

I was thinking a lot about this quote while driving today, and I don't think it's true.
What do you think?

There are still good people in the world

I posted this on Freecycle last week:

Wanted--breadmaker and crock pot. I cook and serve dinner for 14 members of our church worship teamevery Thursday before they rehearse. A breadmaker and crock pot would really help me out. If you have one just gathering dust, I would put it to good use. Thanks for your generosity. I live in Cascade area.

~Jenna

From Freecycler Barb:
Jenna, I have a bread maker that you can have. I can send it with a friend to pick up at her office in your area if you are interested.

From me:
I am so incredibly grateful for your willingness to give us your breadmaker and for thinking to send it to work with your friend--thank you so much! Just let me know when and where to pick it up and I will be there.

From Freecycler Barb:
I hope this is close enough for you to pick up. Here is the address, phone and contact of my friend. She will have the bread maker in her car tomorrow.

I will throw in the recipe books to help you out. I find it is faster to make a batch of 6 at a time and throw them in the freezer. If you want my "scratch recipe" email me back. Enjoy.

From me:
This is perfect--I can swing by after I drop my son off at pre-school today. I'll call Jamie when I'm on my way.Thank you for the cookbooks! I DEFINITELY want your scratch recipe if you're willing to share--personal recipes are always best when they're tried and true.

Freecyclers just blow me away with their generosity. Whenever we've listed items the most gracious people have come to pick them up. And the very few times I've posted a "wanted" item there's always been someone willing and able to freecycle the item I need--thank you again for being that person!

From Freecycler Barb:
Jenna, I agree about freecycle. I just arranged to pick up pond plants and kooi fish….all free! Do you realize what a savings this is to me? Not to mention how much I will enjoy them. I am thrilled. Now I need to post to see if I can find a food dehydrater. I know someone posted for one already but it was larger than I wanted. Also would really use an embroidery machine, but that’s a real stretch! Good to meet you, contact me any time you think you need a recipe!

Herbie's number = "the need to be against"

My mom’s life philosophy these days is “life is choices”. She utters it snippily anytime someone else says or does something that doesn’t fit into her own scheme or makes a decision she just plain doesn’t like.

Example-- my brother and sister-in-law e-mailed my parents to let them know they would be staying in the Dominican this summer rather than joining them at the beach in NJ for the family vacation/get-together.

Example--one of her friends decides to put their house up for sale and downsize to pay an errant child’s medical and/or credit card bills rather than crack down or cut off the adult child in order to show them "tough love" or teach them responsibility.

Example-- I mention that my brother is having car troubles and the cost of repairs is going to be high—she’ll say something like “all those video games…well, life is choices”.

One day, I had just had enough. I think we were chatting online and she typed that phrase. I wrote back that for the most part I do agree with that, but there are choices we don’t get to make or things out of our control that we can’t just write off, shrug off so easily, and still have to live with and react to gracefully (*cough*...or not).

For instance, I didn’t choose to have 3 children. That is a fact. I have wrestled and struggled with this reality-I-didn’t-choose to no end. And the incredible amount of guilt with being honest with my initial feelings. Especially in light of my belief in God and that as much as I know Him I believe that He advocates life and love. Finding myself sobbing in front of my closet admitting I was experiencing an unwanted pregnancy gave me a chance to be tested, to react to a choice I didn't make, a decision I didn't want, and prove I could indeed react gracefully by looking past the end of my own nose. Now that Addi is here, I realize that she was a choice God made for me knowing I needed her constant smiles and stable, steady temperament to help me get through each teeth-grinding day encumbered by the PPD-riddled waters attempting to drown out who I really am with a little more fight to attain the joy that comes so naturally out of her. But not everything is that simple or ends so “happily ever after”.

What about PPD—I didn’t choose to have PPD. I know Dan didn't choose to marry a girl who would bear children then morph into a vicious, hapless, helpless, paranoid, glassy-eyed stranger for the ensuing year. What about my grandmother’s lymphoma? She didn’t choose that. What about our families—we don’t get to choose them. What about all the crap going on in the world--do you think people choose to be murdered, taken advantage of, victims of disaster, maimed, riddled with agonizing pain or illnesses, have their children kidnapped? Take a minute—make a list of 3 things you don’t get to choose, things that are out of your hands. I could hardly stop once I got started, but put the brakes on as it’s not a very positive vein of thought.

The only choice we have in the matter most times is how we will react to decisions made for us and circumstances that are out of our control.

And sometimes we choose things that are best for us and not maybe necessarily the best for someone else, but we’re allowed to make those choices. We're allowed to screw up and make mistakes and learn and restore what we don't do well or fail at. My mom might not like the fact that we’re not having an all-family get together this summer, but maybe my brother and sister-in-law and their kids need to stay put and be a family this summer. Maybe there’s more to the story than we will ever know, and we need to allow for those things rather than just get all miffed and turn up our noses when someone doesn’t fall into the line that we’ve drawn. I'm writing in "we" because I include myself as the number one audience member to my soapbox spiel.

Mom and I had a bit of a chuckle about our interchange a few days later, but it’s interesting to note that she’s not sharing as much of the “stuff” that’s going on in her or anyone else’s life right now.

I’m glad I was honest, I’m glad she knows I think for myself, I’m glad she knows what I think, what I feel, where I stand, and that I am not a yes-man. I can imagine that it gives her a sense of pride while at the same time breaks a little piece of her heart as well, and I know these moments of realization that my children are coming into their own will happen for me too, my time is a comin’.

Now, my dad’s current life philosophy is “it is what it is”. More on that later. Maybe...

Memoirs of a Geisha (2005)

I watched this in bed last night with a heating pad on my back and the fan blowing (I was trying to pretend I was on a warm beach...didn't quite make it) with a bowl of peanuts, a coffee mug of ice water, and a Snickers bar to keep me company.

I had balked at reading the book because I was afraid it might be "rough" reading. I assumed a geisha was a "high end" prostitute, but I was very wrong. I'm glad I had the clarity of mind and courage to find out what it REALLY was rather than just holding to my own ignorant assumption.

Not only was the movie spectacular in every way, but I'm surprised to find that I really love what the Geisha was trained to do and be. According to Wikipedia Geisha (芸者, Geisha) are traditional, female Japanese entertainers, whose skills include performing various Japanese arts, such as music, singing and dancing. They also engage their clients with light conversation.

But I love how it was defined in the movie by the mentor Mameha: "Geisha is an artist of the floating world. She dances, she sings. She entertains you, whatever you want. The rest is shadows, the rest is secret."

If any of you have seen this movie, you have Sayuri's dance in a snow shower of rose petals that I think is one of the most compelling and passionate pieces of movement I have ever witnessed. For those of you who haven't, I'd highly recommend a window into another world we will never get to experience except vicariously through print or film.

one sweet watch

Dan and I had fun collaborating on this awesome Swatch-esque birthday cake for his dad. Orange creamsicle cake made this cake taste just as good as it looked!

i groan

I am at the library typing this post. I came here to pay my excessive fine as well as request some book club books.
On the KDL website, this announcement was smack dab in the middle.

I closed my eyes, and silently groaned. Why, why, why, why, why?

This quote and the announcement it is advertising is so oxymoronic, I almost feel nautious. If we are "living an attitude of equal respect for all people", then why are we singling out women?

Oh, if I were braver I'd just grab my gut and roll around on the floor right here in the library groaning out loud--and not in a good way. But I won't do that, because I am a lady (hah--me being sexist against myself--that's funny).

Why, why, why, why, why? Must...get...home...and...read...more...Sarah...Sumner...

I choose...business ethics

Dan's parents are here for a visit. They come bearing bags of gifts. We eat out 2 meals a day. We shop for fun. It's the same dance every time.

My ethical dilemmas and justifications (which I don't agree with, but pacify myself with):

dilemma: We would not spend this much of our own money to eat out nor eat out this often.
justification: Rather than spending time prepping and cleaning up, we are spending every precious moment together fully engaged in each other. (I don't even buy this one--some of my best conversations with my mother-in-law, whom I now call "mom", have happened in the kitchen--so this is sheer indulgence).

dilemma: We are expected to pick out things for them to buy us. Again, money we would not spend on ourselves, and the ugly "I want, I want, I want" monster rears its ugly head. Are we taking advantage? Do we and our kids only see them as wallets and expect them to gratify our "wants"?
justification: This is God's way of providing things like clothing for us and our kids, and gives them joy to be able to give us things that make us happy. In addition to frivolous things (in which there is indeed merit--my kids will think well of Grandma and Poppie each time they wear their new fireman and lotus flower raincoats, I try to pick out pragmatic items as well (pajamas, underwear, socks, jeans). I do get nearly sick thinking "will we ever be able to do this for our kids?". A real kick in the pants for us to work on being fiscally responsible in the now as well as being disciplined to plan, save, invest, and prepare for the future.

dilemma: We dress ourselves and our kids so properly when they are here--in essence putting on a bit of a facade.
justification: They love us no matter what we look like, but we feel like we have to wear or dress our kids in what they have bought for us (either now or in the past) so they can revel in their own generosity. They have such a high standard for their own appearance, that we feel like we have to reach the same level. How many week days are we ironing blouses to wear under a sweater that matches the socks and dress shoes, and this is one of the 4 times a year I break out the curling iron. I think the justification for this category is that it honors them. Am I "to my own self be[ing] true?" Maybe not, but it's about honoring your parents in a way that speaks to them, I guess!?!

OK, it's my window to hop in the shower....gotta scott...oops...I mean scoot...

Naan'n special

I have been on a relentless search for easily accessible Naan bread. A few weeks ago I found these Fabulous Flats Tandoori Naan breads at Meijer!

We DEVOURED them. I seriously fantasize about them. Like how I can run errands and have to get to Meijer to get another package.

I sent Dan grocery shopping last week and meticulously schooled him in exactly where in Meijer I found them (they were all the way on the left in the lower rack of the end-cap of the donut/bagel/rolls display case in front of the bakery--the end cap facing the store entrance, not the one facing the organic food fridge case...etc.) and there were none in that location. I think I had to go through the five stages of grief--shock, anger, denial, sadness, etc...

Yesternight's shopping trip, however, yielded a package of the precious bread, flour and ghee concoction. And I cannot wait for dinner tonight.

I am so excited about cooking and eating chicken masala with jasmine rice and a wonderful piece of warm naan with some melted butter brushed on top. Dan likes his drizzled with olive oil--he's so health conscious!

Let me just say, if you happen to be wandering Meijer and find these babies, for $1.99, you are in for a treat. You can use them to make sandwiches, pizzas, to dip in hummus, as a nice side to a salad, for soup, warmed up and drizzled with honey or agave nectar and some cinnamon for a dessert--the possibilities are endless!

Seriously folks, it is taking all of the self-control in the world right now not to rip this package open and binge right now. This post is my accountability.

p.s.-Brooke--do you have a naan recipe? I'd love to learn to make this, and incorporate some healthier ingredients than the unbleached enriched all purpose white flour this one is made with...

Itchy fingers

Man, I've been itching to write, but have not the time. Or when I do our (borrowed) Internet is down.

I don't know if it was the extra dose of sunshine I soaked up in Oklahoma, some awesome personal interactions I've had in the past few days, or the Starbucks I just drank or what, but I am pumped.

I'm so excited on my friend Heather's behalf that she quit her job to pursue a dream. I am not that brave. I have dreams, but not the imagination to make them reality.

I read a magazine a friend gave me that is solely written by its readers. The submissions aren't paid, but I'm excited at imagining myself at the library with Dan's laptop, a Bible, some yellow lined paper and a medium point blue pen scratching out something to submit.

I'm completely gung ho on some incredible ministry ideas and opportunities I've been squelching inside waiting for the time to make them happen, and I think that time is within reach. Thinking through the process, parameters, and the idea of writing up a proposal has me almost giddy.

I guess I'm finally starting to think that hope isn't just a four-letter-word that floats, but a verb that is real and active in my life. ME!

Next time I have a Debbie Downer moment (day, week, month, what-have-you) please either caffeinate me or remind me of this post.